Is It Really That Bad?

It must be.It has to be. My sister asked me a few days back whether or not I had seen the VH1 reality show (and I use that term loosely) "Love and Hip-Hop". I hadn't, so one evening it was on and I was bored , so I turned to it. I will never watch it again.

I've heard it before, and continue to hear it. Black women stating how difficult it is to find a "decent black man" to date. Many black men take umbrage with this, and dismiss it as a form of negative-attention seeking on behalf of black women. I personally have been indifferent about it at times. I cannot be any longer, black women are right. You know how I know that they're right? Because, black women(or at least one black woman) have now taken to asking a man to marry them-that means it's pretty bad out here. Not only did Jim Jones'(of "Ballin'!" fame) girlfriend of six years propose to him, but when seeking the counsel of close girlfriends about the move (another black woman) she was supported, and told to "go after what you want". I don't have a problem with a person seeking what it is their heart desires, but I do have a problem when a woman who should be the "prize" has to essentially chase down a grown man. It was awfully clear to me that Jones wasn't really interested in spending the rest of his life with or at least committing through marriage to be with her. Truthfully, I felt bad for her. Truthfully, I feel bad in general, for all our black women.

Now-I'm not sitting in judgement here like I'm perfect and am not guilty of "playing games" and "foolin' around". Believe you me; I've done my fair share of dirt and haven't been at my best at all times, but with age I grew out of a lot of foolishness. Plus, as a father, I want my son to see and understand his importance as a black man within our community. I have to do that by modeling positive and appropriate behaviors.

Black women have been the cornerstones of the black community since day one. I am filled with pride when I see our First Lady with all of her elegance and grace, but I know that if President Obama ever got out of pocket and started to trip on Michelle, all that Leader of the Free World stuff would be out the window and she would put him in his place! I've seen black women stick with us through thick and thin and support their men throughout the years no matter what. There is a bond there that can never be broken. Don't fool yourself. If there is one thing I know about black women-its that they love their black men. I don't mind making that pejorative statement.

But black men have arrived right? One of us is President! We're actors, high-paid athletes, doctors, lawyers, etc.! Unfortunately, that's far and few between. There are a large segment of us locked up, on the down-low, not doing anything with our lives, or too busy playing games to be taken seriously. Yet and still, they won't and haven't totally given up on us. There are still a lot of black men out there who are "good catches", unfortunately, their numbers aren't keeping up with the number of available black women. Black women are surpassing men both educationally and professionally. But I know a lot of black women who are willing to date or be with a man based off of his "potential". I've never heard a man having to use that term in regards to a woman he's with.

Let me state that the fact that black women are portrayed as being mad, angry, fighting "b's" aren't the black women that I grew up around. That's a gross generalization that society has offered up to the masses, and a few "sell-outs" have happily re-enforced the negative stereotype for some cash. The women I grew up around like my Grandmother and Mother were loving and nurturing. They seldom got mad, and when they did, they didn't curse and start throwing fists!

I feel bad for Jim Jones' girlfriend and all other black women that so badly want a man in their lives that they're willing to sacrifice their on self-respect to be with them. I feel bad about the damage that it does for future generations that don't understand the repercussions of men not doing what they need to do to make a woman feel respected, loved, needed...I feel bad for black men that have been lulled into a sense of entitlement and getting to the point where we feel that a woman needs to "prove" herself to us. Apparently bearing someone a child, sacrificing other friends,dreams and careers to be with us isn't enough to get us to want to spend our lives with you...

It's really gotten that bad.

Yay! CLEVELAND ROCKS!!!

Come and visit Cleveland!!! Right now!!! Trust me, we could use the tourism dollars!

Hastily Made Cleveland Tourism Video: 2nd Attempt from Albi Cakes on Vimeo.

MARSHA!!!

I'm absolutely loving me some Marsha Ambroius right now!!! She makes some great music and put on a great show live last week in Baltimore @ Ram's Head Live. Shouts out to Marsha and to Anthony David who did a great job as well! Her music will get you in some trouble LOL!Thanks for the great show!