Some silliness to start off the week LOL!!!

Winter Sucks!!!

Or should I just say that snow sucks! Here we go again, I don't like the cold-so I'm not looking forward to this upcoming winter season. I understand that it has to happen, but I could surely do without it. After last winter's record snowfall here, I can say that I'm bracing myself though I know it probably won't get as bad this year. One would think that I was built for this being from Cleveland and all, but it doesn't lessen my disgust for the snow. My favorite part about winter was watching my dog Sparkie get lost and buried in the snow when you let him outside. Clearly, he wasn't a big fan either, as he would do his business, get some air and come right back and beg to be let back in! If there's anything good about winter it's the fact that we're getting closer to summer LOL!!! I am reminded of a quote that lends some inspiration for this time of year though; "If you give up when it's winter, you'll miss the promise of your spring, the beauty of your summer and the fulfillment of your fall". On a serious note, let us remember that this is a tough time of year for many. Seasonal depression and suicide rates are very high in the winter season. There are many people without adequate heat and shelter. And there are those who will not receive the things that others get and take for granted, such as a warm meal or a nice gift for the holidays. Let us take some time out to think of some of those less fortunate and do something nice for someone else who may not be blessed the way you are. As much as winter may suck for some of us, it can be much harsher for many others.

A Heartwarming Story...

Ex-Jaguar Richard Collier Makes Most Important Stand

JACKSONVILLE, Fla. – Richard Collier had made a promise to those close to him that he would stand for his July wedding, that he would remove the veil from his bride's face and kiss her when pronounced man and wife. Chandra Baker knew of Collier's intentions, but she was tucked away, out of sight since, according to wedding customs and superstitions, it's unlucky for the groom to see the bride in her wedding dress until she arrives for the ceremony.

As Baker waited, she heard a thunderous ovation erupt from the hotel ballroom, where, in a few minutes, the couple would exchange their vows. When it was time, Baker emerged from behind a curtain and saw Collier, in his handsome gray tuxedo and white bow tie, waiting on his bride. He was sweating. He was smiling.

And, as he promised, he was standing, an empty wheelchair off to the side.

"Many people there hadn't seen him stand in almost two years and forgotten how tall he was," a smiling Chandra said of her 6-foot-7 newlywed husband. "Walking out and seeing Richard standing there wasn't a shock to me because I always knew he could do it. And I believe he will walk again, too, because of his determination. He's not a pity person.

"He doesn't have pity parties."

Collier, 29, a former offensive tackle for the Jacksonville Jaguars, was left paralyzed from the waist down and had his left leg amputated after he suffered multiple gunshot wounds -- 14 to be exact -- in an ambush-style shooting in early 2008. Collier's life hung in balance for weeks, he underwent 15 surgeries and, to this day, continues to deal with medical problems. His doctors say he will never walk again.

Wrong prognosis, Doc.

"I will never let people tell me what I can't do," Collier told a FanHouse reporter, a wide grin spreading across his face as he sat in his motorized wheelchair here in the living room of his home, 15 minutes or so from Alltel Stadium, where he played two seasons for the Jags.
"They have told me I would never walk again, but, man, I stood at my wedding the entire time. I really wanted to stand tall at my wedding, to show people this is what I've been doing for the last year and a half. And I got to kiss my wife standing up."
-- Richard Collier
"I plan on walking again. I really do. I don't doubt myself, I don't put limits on myself. I wake up every day and I smile and I laugh because I'm alive. They have told me I would never walk again, but, man, I stood at my wedding the entire time. I really wanted to stand tall at my wedding, to show people this is what I've been doing for the last year and a half.

"And I got to kiss my wife standing up."

Collier stood with the help of an intricate brace that was strapped onto the outside of his body at the hips and extended around his legs. Collier was fitted with a prosthetic limb following the shooting. He says he can manipulate slight movement in leg and limb during therapy sessions and has walked up to 100 steps in his brace. Of course, the nervous groom may have been perfect with his vows but he badly misread the game clock.

"I had no idea the ceremony would last 45 minutes," Collier laughed.

Collier boasts a hearty, deep laugh. He has a quick, bright smile, too. Despite his hardships, Collier says he's blessed -- and he immediately counted the ways. Collier points to his wife, a teacher for disadvantaged children. He points to his tight-knit family and daily telephone calls to his mother, and he points to his former Jaguars and Valdosta State teammates and coaches, many of whom remain in touch and visit him at his south Jacksonville home. Complain? Collier says his life still holds unlimited promise and potential.

Collier has replaced what if with what's next.

"I have a chance to be a better person in life in every aspect," Collier explained.

"I have the chance to take advantage of every second in life instead of wasting it for something that doesn't matter. I try to do that every day now. Sure, I still get sad, but that's life, that's normal, and I quickly snap out of it. I hate being down. I want to be positive. I am not going to let you see me down. Don't look at me as a helpless guy. I just feel the sky is the limit. I want to help change the world, want to show people who have disabilities can do whatever they want."

Collier relies on his faith, too. He says he has forgiven Tyrone Hartsfield, the man who was convicted of shooting him and is spending the rest of his life in prison. Collier was competing for a starting job on the offensive line in 2008 during training camp when he was shot Labor Day weekend after leaving a nightclub. Collier survived, according to his doctors, because he was in great physical shape.

Collier, who dropped close to 60 pounds while hospitalized following the shooting, remains motivated physically. Broad shouldered with muscular arms, Collier lifts weights three days a week at Brooks Rehabilitation Hospital and can bench 350 pounds three times. He hopes to start playing wheelchair basketball if time permits, but his schedule fills quickly.

Collier enjoys public speaking and can be found at civic groups to detention centers, stressing opportunities, second chances and advocacy for the disabled. He loves to read, likes to fish and is a weekly guest on a local radio show. Every Friday is date night for the newlyweds and every Sunday morning is reserved for church.

Chandra says her husband is her hero and she never contemplated leaving him during their courtship when he was shot. Children are in their future plans, too.

"It never crossed my mind," she explained. "I always wanted to be the one by his side, and it was an easy decision for me to stay. I honestly don't think he even realizes how many lives he has impacted because he is such an inspiration."

There are examples. Collier also spends time on social networking sites such as Facebook, where he connects with persons, able bodied and disabled, in need of encouragement. Collier recently traded telephone numbers with a gentleman who, like himself, was paralyzed from a gunshot wound. The two talked, helped each other emotionally and Collier said it was gratifying knowing he made a difference.

Collier also has a keen eye for style, crediting his five sisters. Collier clothes shops for his wife and himself and he decorated his entire 3,000-square foot home. Naturally, the latter has become a slight problem since his marriage.

Collier's living room -- make that his entire home, he laughed -- is, in his words, bachelory with red and suede colored walls. Three red leather couches offer a perfect view to the big-screen television on the wall above the fireplace. A pool table is in the dining room, flanked by Collier's framed football jerseys, plaques, autographed helmets and footballs.

Chandra has won round one. New furniture for the living room is being delivered this week. The pool table stays -- for now. Collier's disability hasn't forced him to make many adjustments to his home, but he added a ramp at the front door, widened a few doors and had a roll-in shower and a larger tub installed.

Much like a teenager striving for independence, Collier sets daily goals. He reached a milestone in September when he started to drive again after his two vehicles -- a black Cadillac Escalade ("It's the same kind of vehicle I was shot in," he said) and a light green 1994 Chevy Impala, a childhood favorite -- were customized with a hand clutch in the middle console that that enables him to accelerate or break. Collier had no intention of driving the recommended vehicle for the disabled: a van. Shoot, Collier even customized his motorized wheelchair with leather padding and had RICH embroidered into the chair back.

"People try to put disabled people into a corner, 'You can't do this, you can't do that,' " Collier said. "I am like 'I am going to go totally against the grain and I will make it work.' "

Collier makes it work because he feels he's blessed, pointing to his life story.

He quit football after high school in Shreveport, La., and was stocking produce at a Wal-Mart when he was encouraged to enroll in junior college. After two years at Tyler Junior College in Texas, Collier moved on to Valdosta State in Georgia, winning the Division II national championship his first year and meeting his future wife. He signed as a free agent for $13,000 with the Jags in 2006, playing two seasons. In May 2008, the Jaguars signed Collier to a contract extension. He played in all four of the Jaguars' preseason games in a reserve role that season before the shooting.

In the early hours of Sept. 2, 2008, Collier's life changed forever. He acknowledged mistakes. Collier also admitted it was difficult to look across the courtroom more than a year later, in Nov. 2009, and see Hartsfield, who was arrested, charged with attempted murder and convicted.

"The fact that someone took so much from you," Collier said.

"You were right where you wanted to be... but this person changed not only your career but your whole way of life. That anger I felt then motivated me. I didn't want to be seen on TV as a guy looking down or being sad. I would not give anyone that power over me to let him think he defeated me.

"He tried to destroy me, he tried to take my life. I dealt with all that at the trial. I think I handled it professionally. I didn't bash him. I told him I would pray for him. I asked the judge that justice be served and I'm thankful that happened. Now I've moved on. I am a fighter and I am not going to stay down for long. Immediately after the trial, I put all that behind me.

"It was time to get on with life."

Life is trying to keep pace with Collier.

Football remains an important part of his routine, but from a different vantage point. He's now a fan. Collier may watch the offensive linemen fire off the line of scrimmage, but he doesn't look for adjustments or blitz packages or try to critique a play. He cheers. He wants the Jags to win and wishes them better luck when they lose. Collier has attended two Jaguar home games this year, and makes a point to watch every game on television. Just like Sunday, when Jacksonville beat the Houston Texans on a 50-yard Hail Mary pass in the closing seconds.

Game announcers called it a miracle.

Collier believes in miracles, too.

"I will always cherish those football memories, but I don't miss football, I really don't," Collier said.

"I look at it as that was a chapter of my life and it's over now. I don't dwell on the past. Just like with my injuries now being hurt, I know what happened and I know what's going on. I remember I couldn't even say the word paralyzed. I didn't want to say it because I couldn't grasp it, but I've grown so much since then. I've gotten a lot stronger physically, mentally and I've moved forward. Like I said, I believe I will walk again.

"I get mad now when people take their bodies for granted. They may say, 'Oh, my foot hurts and I don't want to walk.' Man, I'd kill for my foot to hurt. I know people who don't take care of their bodies. You are up walking and you should take care of what you are given. I hate to see people waste their lives. It's the easy stuff, too, like going to the bathroom or getting into the car. I mean, everything is an adventure for me."

Even standing at his wedding.

WE R ONE!!! 2010 Champs!!!

Shouts out to my boys the D.C. "WE R ONE" flag football squad. We brought home that 2010
fall championship yesterday at Deanwood Rec Center!! Yeah baby!! Represent!! We fought hard and my old behind is feeling it today LOL!!!

We Need Eachother Now More Than Ever...

There were a lot of things that I could've chosen to write about for my inaugural post. Over the past few weeks we've been inundated with everything from Mid-Term elections to Kanye and President George W. Bush's public Mea Culpas to eachother. However, what has probably been the most prominent has been the amount of chatter surrounding the movie "For Colored Girls..." While I certainly don't and can't relate to the egregious characterizations put on display of black men in not only this, but many of Tyler Perry's movies, I wonder when it is that Black America will have some real conversations with itself about the stereotypes that we tend to negatively reinforce.

Admittedly so, I'm not a big Tyler Perry fan, as I feel that he makes tons of money off of his negative viewpoints towards black men and relationships, but there can be no denial that these characters do appear within our community more often than not. And, as always, the victim is played by that of the black woman. If we are indeed being honest with ourselves though-don't we as a culture victimize our women regularly? It's no wonder that a woman can be under the false assumption that she doesn't need a man, when all of the ones she's given opportunity to have only hurt and betrayed her trust, one way or another. While I do get sick of hearing that there are "no good black men left", I do also get sick of hearing that 72% of black children are born out of wedlock(A statistic that I am guilty of contributing to, as I have an 11 year-old son. So I'm not acting as if I'm better than anyone). How many of those men just jumped up and decided that they weren't going to take care of their responsibility? But another question we have to ask is why do some of these women decide to have a child(ren) with someone who they clearly know isn't going to be with them? When did we start telling these little black girls that it was okay to sleep around at such a young age, and that it was okay to have a baby before you're even old enough to buy alcohol? Why are these behaviors acceptable within our community?

There are examples all around of black ignorance and apathy. More than enough to share with the rest of the world. When do we get back to showing examples of black love and pride? The examples that we saw of black families in the 40's,50's and 60's when we were actually getting married at higher rates than any other race of people? Where did we go wrong? Who told us that we didn't need eachother in order to survive? Whoever sold us that lie sits and watches as our community feeds into it and splinters and cracks to a point of almost no repair. I don't believe that we are the one dimensional people portrayed in mass media, or are we?

Black men, let's be honest with ourselves, sisters have every right to be upset and angry over what we have or haven't done to them throughout these past few decades. Making them feel inadequate if their hair wasn't long-enough, skin light-enough or cheekbones high-enough. Tricking them into believing that they are good enough to bear our children, but yet not worthy enough to give a ring to. We have to praise and provide for our women.

And black women, stop going around speaking into existence that there are no good or decent black men left. There are!And just because you've chosen a few bad ones in the past, isn't a reason to give up on us all. He may not have everything you need and want now-but if you see the potential, you can water him with encouragement like a chia pet and watch him grow!LOL! I know-you should'nt feel as if you have to raise a man,but black men need to be poked and prodded a little, and it usually doesn't take much if we truly care about and want to be with you. Truth is, we cannot reach our full potential unless we're with a black woman. But make that man work and earn your love...

It is this nurturing of eachother that is needed for us as a culture to prosper. You see, no matter what you've heard, we really need eachother and you must know that deep down inside. Running around womanizing or having babies by a bunch of different people is a sick way to fill a void in ourselves for the acceptance and unconditional love that we really desire from someone. So the question still begs; when do we rid ourselves of all the negative imagery and stereotypes that we see everyday? When do we get to see a Tyler Perry movie about a loving black family without a bunch of unnecessary melodrama and mess(maybe never!)? When do we begin celebrating the return of our black men home from serving in wars overseas, and not a rappers release from prison?!The answer is when we get back to being living and breathing examples of the prideful and loving people that we innately are. Like Ganhdi said; "Be the change you want to see in the world". Speak and help uplift eachother in positive ways and you might be surprised what comes into fruition. After all...








Who woulda thunk it?